Grief is more than nothing.

You made me so sleepy.
You made my eyelids heavy and my head thick and my face hot.
You made me hungry.
You made me get sick in the bathroom at work.

And then you were gone and I wanted those things back.

I have nothing of you and I never really did.
You didn't have a name.
You were not big enough to change my body so that anyone else could see.
It was only me who felt you move.

The only proof of you I have is that I was never the same after losing you.

And all there is now is the sadness that comes at this time each year and the fear that one day I won't even have that.
I will have nothing of you. I will have nothing of you.

I promised not to get over you. I still promise.